The UK’s new passport includes a bizarrely error-strewn tube map

A detail from the new UK passport. Image: Home Office.

Everyone loves a good Tube map – so much so that the government included one in the revamped UK passport designs it released yesterday.

And yet, mere moments after images were released by the Home Office, people were already taking to social media to point out some odd mistakes.

The good people at the London SE1 website noted, with bafflement, that Southwark station had not been deemed worthy of inclusion. What’s more, the government seems to be unaware of the existence of today’s London Overground, believing instead that the East London Line (as was) still terminates at New Cross Gate.

A second map, which shows the streets and railway lines of inner south London, seems a bit hit and miss as to what it shows. It includes DLR stations and mainline ones, but not Tube or Overground ones, except, for some reason, Surrey Quays. It also made another mistake which is just weird

(Queen’s Road Peckham is in the wrong place too, incidentally.)

Along with landmarks from around the country, the 34-page passport includes images of British historical figures. But it has attracted criticism because of features just two women, compared to seven men.


Her Majesty’s Passport Office said: “Not only are we constantly striving to stay one step ahead of those who seek to undermine the passport, but we have created a document that marks just some of the greatest creative achievements in the UK.” Which wasn’t quite as convincing a response as they seemed to think.

It’s possible, of course, the apparent cartographical errors were included deliberately, serving as an anti-fraud device. Surely Southwark’s omission can’t be anything to do with its perceived importance?

You can find out more about the new designs here.

 
 
 
 

17 things the proposed “Tulip” skyscraper that London mayor Sadiq Khan just scrapped definitely resembled

Artist's impression. See if you can guess which one The Tulip is. Image: Foster + Partners.

Sadiq Khan has scrapped plans to build a massive glass thing in the City of London, on the grounds it would knacker London’s skyline. The “Tulip” would have been a narrow, 300m skyscraper, designed by Norman Foster’s Foster & Partners, with a viewing platform at the top. Following the mayor’s intervention, it now won’t be anything of the sort.

This may be no bad thing. For one thing, a lot of very important and clever people have been noisily unconvinced by the design. Take this statement from Duncan Wilson, the chief executive of Historic England, from earlier this year: “This building, a lift shaft with a bulge on top, would damage the very thing its developers claim they will deliver – tourism and views of London’s extraordinary heritage.”

More to the point, the design was just bloody silly. Here are some other things that, if it had been built, the Tulip would definitely have looked like.

1. A matchstick.

2. A drumstick.

3. A cotton ear bud.

4. A mystical staff, of the sort that might be wielded by Gandalf the Grey.

5. A giant spring onion.

6. A can of deodorant, from one of the brands whose cans are seemingly deliberately designed in such a way so as to remind male shoppers of the fact that they have a penis.

7. A device for unblocking a drain.

8. One of those lights that’s meant to resemble a candle.

9. A swab stick, of the sort sometimes used at sexual health clinics, in close proximity to somebody’s penis.

10.  A nearly finished lollipop.

11. Something a child would make from a pipe cleaner in art class, which you then have to pretend to be impressed by and keep on show for the next six months.

12. An arcology, of the sort seen in classic video game SimCity 2000.

13. Something you would order online and then pray will arrive in unmarked packaging.

14. The part of the male anatomy that the thing you are ordering online is meant to be a more impressive replica of.

15. A building that appears on the London skyline in the Star Trek franchise, in an attempt to communicate that we are looking at the FUTURE.


14a. Sorry, the one before last was a bit vague. What I actually meant was: a penis.

16. A long thin tube with a confusing bulbous bit on the end.

17. A stamen. Which, for avoidance of doubt, is a plant’s penis.

One thing it definitely does not resemble:

A sodding tulip.

Anyway, it’s bad, and it’s good the mayor has blocked it.

That’s it, that’s the take.

(Thanks to Anoosh Chakelian, Jasper Jackson, Patrick Maguire for helping me get to 17.)

Jonn Elledge is editor of CityMetric and the assistant editor of the New Statesman. He is on Twitter as @jonnelledge and on Facebook as JonnElledgeWrites.

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