London's black cab drivers want to stop its cross town cycle routes

Look at that lovely lack of cabs. Image: Greater London Authority.

Remember these?

These are the two new cross town cycle highways planned for London. One runs east-west along the Embankment; the other runs north-south along Farringdon Road (the maps expand if you click on them). They are, says the London Cycling Campaign (LCC), “Europe’s longest substantially segregated cycleways”.

Well, the good news is that, they've got the go-ahead from City Hall. There have been a few minor changes to the plans (a slight narrowing in some locations, that sort of thing), but nothing substantive, and construction will begin in March.

The bad news is that, within mere minutes of that announcement, this happened:

The London Taxi Drivers' Association aren't the only organisation whining about this particular decision. Consider this statement from Howard Dawber, spokesperson for the Canary Wharf Group property firm:

“Canary Wharf is calling for a trial period – like during the Olympics – so we can see how the scheme works in practice and make any necessary changes.”

How one can trial building a massive great cycle highway is not exactly clear. You either build it or you don't. If you only build part of it, you’re not really trialling the thing at all. But anyway.

Both these statements are – let's not kid ourselves about this – acts of naked self-interest. Cab drivers don't want scarce space on key routes like these given over to cyclists, which would slow traffic and make expensive black cabs less attractive as a way of getting around the place. Similarly, if you own Canary Wharf, you’re probably gonna oppose any development that might slow traffic down on the main road route to Heathrow.

A judicial review can't block the new cycle lanes forever: the courts are empowered to review the process by which decisions are made, but not the decisions themselves. The worst case scenario here is that Transport for London could be forced to go back to square one, and re-do their consultation process.

That’s unlikely to change public opinion. As the LCC notes:

There has been overwhelming support for the proposals... More than a hundred major businesses on or near the routes, including Unilever, Royal Bank of Scotland, Deloitte and Orange, also publicly backed the scheme, as did all parties on the London Assembly. Opinion polling showed that Londoners as a whole backed the scheme by 64 per cent to 28 per cent.

What a judicial review can do, though, is make the process of getting the cycle lanes built so horrible that London's political leaders decide it isn't worth the hassle. From here on, it's a battle of willpower.

Still, the whole thing has given Uber’s London office a great chance to troll their arch-rivals in the black cab lobby:

 
 
 
 

This fun map allows you to see what a nuclear detonation would do to any city on Earth

A 1971 nuclear test at Mururoa atoll. Image: Getty.

In 1984, the BBC broadcast Threads, a documentary-style drama in which a young Sheffield couple rush to get married because of an unplanned pregnancy, but never quite get round to it because half way through the film the Soviets drop a nuclear bomb on Sheffield. Jimmy, we assume, is killed in the blast (he just disappears, never to be seen again); Ruth survives, but dies of old age 10 years later, while still in her early 30s, leaving her daughter to find for herself in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

It’s horrifying. It’s so horrifying I’ve never seen the whole thing, even though it’s an incredibly good film which is freely available online, because I once watched the 10 minutes from the middle of the film which show the bomb actually going off and it genuinely gave me nightmares for a month.

In my mind, I suppose, I’d always imagined that being nuked would be a reasonably clean way to go – a bright light, a rushing noise and then whatever happened next wasn’t your problem. Threads taught me that maybe I had a rose-tinted view of nuclear holocaust.

Anyway. In the event you’d like to check what a nuke would do to the real Sheffield, the helpful NukeMap website has the answer.

It shows that dropping a bomb of the same size as the one the US used on Hiroshima in 1945 – a relatively diddly 15kt – would probably kill around 76,500 people:

Those within the central yellow and red circles would be likely to die instantly, due to fireball or air pressure. In the green circle, the radiation would kill at least half the population over a period of hours, days or weeks. In the grey, the thing most likely to kill you would be the collapse of your house, thanks to the air blast, while those in the outer, orange circle would most likely to get away with third degree burns.

Other than that, it’d be quite a nice day.

“Little boy”, the bomb dropped on Hiroshima, was tiny, by the standards of the bombs out there in the world today, of course – but don’t worry, because NukeMap lets you try bigger bombs on for size, too.

The largest bomb in the US arsenal at present is the B-83 which, weighing in at 1.2Mt, is about 80 times the size of Little Boy. Detonate that, and the map has to zoom out, quite a lot.

That’s an estimated 303,000 dead, around a quarter of the population of South Yorkshire. Another 400,000 are injured.

The biggest bomb of all in this fictional arsenal is the USSRS’s 100Mt Tsar Bomba, which was designed but never tested. (The smaller 50MT variety was tested in 1951.) Here’s what that would do:

Around 1.5m dead; 4.7m injured. Bloody hell.

We don’t have to stick to Sheffield, of course. Here’s what the same bomb would do to London:

(Near universal fatalities in zones 1 & 2. Widespread death as far as St Albans and Sevenoaks. Third degree burns in Brighton and Milton Keynes. Over 5.9m dead; another 6m injured.)

Everyone in this orange circle is definitely dead.

Or New York:

(More than 8m dead; another 6.7m injured. Fatalities effectively universal in Lower Manhattan, Downtown Brooklyn, Williamsburg, and Hoboken.)

Or, since it’s the biggest city in the world, Tokyo:

(Nearly 14m dead. Another 14.5m injured. By way of comparison, the estimated death toll of the Hiroshima bombing was somewhere between 90,000 and 146,000.)

I’m going to stop there. But if you’re feeling morbid, you can drop a bomb of any size on any area of earth, just to see what happens.


And whatever you do though: do not watch Threads. Just trust me on this.

Jonn Elledge is the editor of CityMetric. He is on Twitter as @jonnelledge and also has a Facebook page now for some reason. 

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